In life being the best has a lot more to it than a high IQ a trophy degree or even good looks. Skills are developed to be an individual (in school) whilst often being pandered to (at home). Admittedly, perhaps, this is a more modern phenomenon. As we have got wealthier (work harder and longer) our kids can be afforded an "easier life" and be outsourced (nannies and media entertainment). This is not providing them with the skills to be the best.
Key social skills are not developed in this false, individual, pandered environment. To be the best a large swathe of personal and social skills need to be developed. Here are some of the desired skills listed in the book for kids "How kids Fail"
- Confidence
- Curiosity
- Self control
- How you relate to other people and understand their point of view (do not jump to conclusions)
- Communicate (Listen, clarify, understand, empathize)
- Cooperativeness
- Be positive about everything and everyone
- Always do your best
- Always look to improve
- Always ask what you can do better (not what you have done well) \ collaborative
- good social skills
- no dwelling on past mistakes (just learning not to repeat them)
- forward looking and suppression of wasteful negative thoughts
- a can do (and will do) attitude
- taking responsibility instead of being a victim seeking excuses.
Even better still you will already have a plan, goal and desires already mapped out giving life direction and purpose (goals).
None of this is easy. I personally have only developed some habits recently. I have to constantly remind myself of my conduct. I often fail and have to try harder.
I can easily critisise my conduct in the past. I sincerely regret some of it and have spent lots of time kicking my-self. Thankfully I have learnt to move on. Did I learn from my mistakes? In some ways yes.
Now something goes off in my head that says stop when I am going to do something stupid. All those past mistakes needle me to stop and change course. Is that what wisdom is learn from loads of past mistakes.
I guess the more mistakes you make when you are young the better. Mistakes early are a blessing. Generally the don't have dire consequences either.
Develop some habits?
- Listen, Pause and think before replying. If you are unsure wait until tomorrow especially when angry.
- Learn to be critical of yourself and ask what would I do different next time.
- Have goals and a plan well into the future
- Identify and make friends with the right people - positive, happy and energetic types whilst avoiding the wrong type of people - negative, excuse driven individuals.
- Read and learn from philosophers, strivers, thinkers, go getters and people who have faced adversity and won.
We have TIME on our side
Thankfully we ALL have TIME to make changes and that is a gift we have to use. If something is not working do something about it. Quit, move, fix and buckle down to some hard work.Some reading ideas:
Stephen Covey:7 Habits, 8th Habit, 3rd Way
The Magic of Thinking Big
How Children Fail
Epictetus
Peace, prosperity and happiness
CoNTeNDeR
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